A blisteringly hot day in mid-July would have been the ideal time for our trip to Skeg. Sadly, the fixture gods came up with a cold damp afternoon in late April for Baston to make the (very) long trip east for the first time since 2008. Finally, a return to the home of underage drinking, whack-a-croc and the dustiest donkeys you could ever wish to pat.

Hawk drew the short straw at the pub and was subsequently placed in Smiler’s car, spending the entire trip with his head poking out of the sunroof. Upon arrival at the ground, the boys were very shocked to find the car park crammed full of cars. Excitement that we might actually have an audience was quickly dampened - they were just there for the beach.

It wasn’t difficult to spot the difference between the big town club and village side. While Skeg warmed up with fielding drills and bowling practice, Big Dave was onto his third fag and Smiler had turned up with something akin to his personality – a giant fruitcake. No-one knows why.

VSM in good form

At the toss, Skeg skipper Brant ruined the initial illusion of being a decent bloke by landing the coin on tails and sticking the visitors in. Clearly desperate to escape the lingering smell of fish and chips, debutant opener James Tickler (3) was out early, chipping to mid on. Liam (13) replaced him and started very well, before getting carried away and getting out to one-too-many big shot for the 195th time in his Baston career.

Liam with a trademark smash for four

At the other end, VSM was going very well, knocking the ball around nicely and punishing a fair amount of guff. Ben (11) was bowled around his legs, bringing another debutant Andy Burrill to the crease. After cleverly giving the illusion of being clueless by whooshing at his first couple of balls, Buzzer soon started to push the scoreboard on with some lovely clean hitting.

There was a significant amount of “town-talk” on the field, most of it from the mouth of dropped first teamer and general BTC “Big Norm” Brackley. Happily, the significant amount of gobsh*te only spurred VSM and Buzzer on, their 50 partnership came in no time and suddenly Baston had a base to build on.

Burrill with a solid 29 on debut

After being smashed in his first couple of overs, Brant was starting to bowl well and generate some quick turn down the Skeg slope. The pressure told, as VSM (69) pushed back a return catch after Buzzer (29) had perished to a rare mis-timed drive. The middle order weren’t able to capitalise on the opportunity given to them by VSM and Buzzer - Adam (5), Keeno (9) and Don Long (1) all falling quickly.

However, after a quick drop of holy water on his poorly groin, VSV Neil (15) provided a decent boost at the end, smashing a few boundaries behind square on the leg side. VSV was finally last man out, falling the same way as Big Dave (2) before him, castled by the returning Sylvester. Overall, a decent performance to put on 169, and something for the bowlers to defend.

VSM (69) with back to back 50s

A very nice lasagne and garlic bread was provided for teas, much to the delight of everyone but Liam (shock) who doesn’t like lasagne or garlic bread. The rain that had been threatening all day appeared briefly during the interval. It’s not very often your opening bowlers warm up by pushing the covers off, but needs must, as the hosts clearly didn’t fancy it, and were onto their 3rd helpings of lasagne.

2008 old-boy Redgard opened up for the hosts alongside reformed scoreboard-puncher Elsom. Skipper Hilless started well, regularly drawing the play-and-miss from both openers without finding an edge. After abandoning his initial plan of bombarding the openers with rancid long-hops, Keeno decided to pitch one up and produced an absolute ripper to bowl Redgard for 17 – just 3 runs less than his 2 overs cost. The keenest man in Baston soon had another one, thanks to a divine diving catch from VSV at square leg. The scorebox was quickly locked up until Elsom was safely back in the pavilion.

Fed up of good deliveries not getting wickets, Adam finally got one with some short slow rubbish that the Skeg number 3 inexplicably missed. Any hopes of a big victory soon began to diminish though, as Brant and Sylvester put together a chanceless 50-run partnership, knocking all the bowlers around tidily.

The game turned though with the introduction of tin-boy and general irritant, Hawk. Bowling with control and carry that belied his 9 years, Hawk made the breakthrough, removing both the set batsmen – Benny and James (sans boy-band jacket) taking solid catches. Don Long picked up his first wicket, claiming Thomas chest-before-wicket. The game was firmly in the balance at 130-6 with Skeg requiring 40 runs in around 10 overs. The key to victory for Baston lay in removing BTC Brackley, who was showing signs of taking the game away, launching a respectable Don delivery for a massive six.

Hawk 3-22

The defining moment came when the BTC flicked a Hawk delivery into the leg-side for what looked like a certain boundary, until Adam pulled off a stunning, one-handed, diving catch. There was initially little reaction as no-one could believe quite what they’d just witnessed from their skipper, who had shelled an absolute snipper the week before.

Once the euphoria had dissipated, Don was quick to wrap up the Skeg tail, Liam and Hawk taking simple catches, giving Baston a hugely credible 27 run victory over the town boys. The lads enjoyed a pint on the balcony amid a football card controversy. Hawk was eventually indebted to his tin as he escaped 4 separate muggings for his £10 winnings on the way out of Skeg.

After the game, the skipper had this to say:

“A really impressive win for lowly Baston today. Smiler and Andy batting really well. Their partnership was a huge bonus as I only put Andy at 5 because he scares me a bit.”

“Hawk was brilliant today, he’s definitely earned another bowl next season.”

“I’m not really sure what all the fuss is about the catch. I do it every week.”

Scorecard - http://slbl.play-cricket.com/website/results/2687494