The stiffs arrived at a soggy Swarkestone on Saturday looking to continue their unbeaten start to the season

Following the trend set by the Sarg in the 1st XI, Dave (Hooters) Stevenson lost the toss and the rather buxom (I say, he’s bigger than me) Swarkestone skipper/wicketkeeper put the Toffs into bat.

It soon became apparent that batting would not be easy with several deliveries shooting off a length, causing the opening pair of Antill and Wendon problems. The Ant had an early scare when he edged to the aforementioned buxom gentleman behind the stumps, only to be dropped.

Wendy Wendon was the first to fall, comprehensively bowled by the young youth charging in from the main road end of the ground. The Ant followed shortly, the buxom keeper redeeming himself by holding on to an edged cut shot. The Toffs were wobbling at 30 for 2 on a rather bowler friendly pitch.

Gay Cavalier Turner and Dickie (JT) Stevenson entered the fray at 3 and 4 respectively and set about holding the innings together. Both played in a circumspect manner, waiting for the bad deliveries, which were put away confidently.

Then, after 18 overs, the inevitable happened, (GC instigated a run out!), the rain came. The players took shelter in the bar and watched the rather lacklustre FA Cup final before play was officially curtailed for the day at half past four.

The Tottie Meter was kept inside to avoid getting any rain into its complex electronics. In all truth is wasn’t really required anyway, only the presence of a young scorer wench wearing tight Moto’s would have registered a reading. In retrospect any reading may have been a criminal offence as she fell below the legal age parameters for tottie measurement. The Ant suggested he would have dabbled anyway, hats on!

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