Duffield 106 all out
Elvaston 107-3.

Duffield opened their Division 1 campaign against Elvaston on Saturday and were given a rude awakening as they began what looks set to be difficult season in Derbyshire crickets second tier. Jocky Rollands, Willie Thorn and sloshed Ken Gregory all presided over events from the safety of the balcony as Duffield returned to Division 1 after a three-year absence.

Having won the toss, Elvaston elected to field, looking to exert the pressure with their experienced opening attack. Rodney Jordan and Sergeant Sims opened up for the Toffs, events soon taking a turn for the worse as Sims fell cheaply swiftly followed by Phil (Diego, that goal on Tuesday night) Jordan. Kris Elliot came in at three looking to make an early impression in his second year with the club. His success in Soda Bar the previous night was already being tainted with rumours of red rivers and bus passes! Joining him at the crease in at number four was Dickie Stevenson with his trunks still brown from a day at Alton Towers on Thursday with The Ant! He lasted only five balls, four of which were left alone outside the off stump in customary fashion before knicking the fifth to first slip who put down the catch only for the keeper to hang on before the ball hit the deck. Elliot followed soon after, mistiming a pull to square leg where the fielder pulled off an athletic catch. Antill joined the parade almost immediately for just two, out second ball to a delivery that kept low and caught him in front of all three. Duffield were teetering on the brink at 17 for 5, the Sarg pulling his hair out on the balcony and considering a switch from Pedigree to Tenants Super!

It was situation non-gratis, only someone of truly heroic ability could save Duffield from certain humiliation; luckily the Toffs had Archie Fry and Phil Jones at the crease to turn things round. The veterans of Duffields golden years in the mid-nineties utilised every bit of their considerable experience to steady the ship playing in a circumspect fashion for around twenty overs helping the toffs to build a total. Jones went on to score an accomplished 50, almost half of the toffs eventual total of 106. He struck some powerful blows down the ground and looked in excellent form, which bodes well for the rest of the summer. Once the partnership was eventually broken by Elvastons effective bowlers the remainder of the Duffield innings folded quickly, leaving messers Nicholls, Jordan, Sims and Eliot little to play with.

Before events on the field were re-convened, there was a tea to be eaten. No Giff this week so there was plenty to go round. There was also welcome introduction of tuna wraps as the Duffield catering unit continues to outperform all comparative operations. Credit due to the Max family and Mrs Sims. Can Antill match this on a Sunday and will the cakes have a special ingredient to get the Vicar going?

Nicholls and Jordan opened the bowling as per usual, Hugo making the early breakthrough, bowling the Elvaston opener. Duffield applied good pressure, not allowing the batsmen to get away and ensuring that the Sarg would not have an elongated session on the Pedigree at the Tart. Paul Birch, centurion at HQ for Elvaston in the Village Cricket Knockout Competition, batted sensibly and took his side up to the finishing line before falling to Eliot by way of a Sims catch at short cover. Elvastons remaining opener played a patient innings having been very lucky to get away with a clear edge to keeper Bygraves off Nicholls, early doors. Quite how the umpire failed to see the deflection was incredible, perhaps he had been spending too much time watching the Ants brand of feature films! Thankfully for the batsmen, Hadders was perched on the balcony discussing whether to flood the square with Big Keith instead of being in the middle in prime position to unleash another infamous verbal onslaught regarding not walking! There can be not doubt that he would have fancied it!

Elvaston eventually reached the required total for victory in around 35 overs, with three wickets down. The Toffs had exerted themselves well in the field, not giving any easy runs. Maybe another 50 on the total would have made for a closer contest? They must now pick themselves up for a double header next weekend and get some points on the board. An improvement in the batting department will be required, practice on Tuesday boys, coaching available HHHHmmmmmmmmPPPPPhhhhhhh!

Short, Dong, Rodney and (Keith) Eliot all embarked on a visit to Derbys hottest party venues as they looked to get the season off to a better start away from the cricket. As it transpired things turned sour when the boys were denied entry to Eden due to Rodney’s offending Ajax shirt, leaving 60 notes burning a hole in their pockets. Never mind boys, extra dances next week! Meanwhile, back at the Tart, the Sarg was discussing the merits of his selection policy with Rob (Burn) Stevo, (camera phone) Ant and even Liz Adams. Discussions were decamped to the Viceroy for the customary Curry, the Pedigree taking full effect! Ant was contemplating chancing his arm with the skipper’s sister who was also present, odds available on request for that one!

Right, thats it you know, it is, Im off, not batting at seven, going to Stainsby with Weighters. Over to you Shortie for next weekend Im polishing off my wax jacket and donning my jodhpurs for a weekend at the horse trials with the lady friend, commence taking of the rise! Dickie

All Saturday's Scores

Related Links:
Elvaston/Mickelover Teams
Links to other DCCL sides
Duffield Squad Members