Official Seaton Carew RUFC

:-))

Who AM i ?

I've got many names and a lot of people who want to be me.

I've been around for many years, yet many people over look me.

I'm young at heart but some times lack the passion to excel like i know i can.

The power 5 know my secret identity yet keep it hidden, will it come out over the tour week4end most likely so or we can allways blame Coach Clark as thats never happened before.

Long live eddy clark for who would we take the p*ss out of all day.

Long live Danny Charlton for without him i'd be bored silly all day.

Long live kenny Braham for who would give us 2 choices all day.

Long live Ian Cambridge for who would be the numpty all day.

Long live Steve Brookes for havin the largest arse crack all day.

Long live Jeff Storey for havin the biggest cock all day.

Long live Mark Appelyard for bursting a blood vessel all day.

Long Live Garry Farman for havin Leo Sayers hair do down his pants all day.

Long live Shaun King for been able to fit that head through ta door all day.

Long Live Dave Burgon For bashing the tramps of the bus door way all day.

Long live Jaffa for eating those squid all day.

Long live the knights i cry for i hope to grow into 1 some day.

Long live the tour and all that tour for we shall stand together in the face of the DRAGON as evil has no place on tour and shall be dealt with by law of the bucket. Thou shall not drowned but bath in the fire of the beast and enjoy what is given to you, without moans or groans and thou shal thank the order of knights for bringing you out of the shadows and into the light.

Beware Beware for Harry Greens about............

What a silly thing to say every body who has ever been on a official seaton tour knows who picks the court officials.

Even Harry Green knows that rule.........

Rule 101 of the seaton bible of touring " the official seaton court rules" :

States that all court officials for the forth coming tour shall be picked at secret venue, at a secret time,on a secret date by the court officials of the last tour as there last official appointment of the last tour and all names shall remain secret until the day they become clear.

Captain Jack Sparrow we know what you are up to you have been seen entering the Big V's hide out known as the cellar.

We see everything, we here everything and what we don't we get told the tour sneaks are among you.

Are sir ducks ar** anything to add.

More info on the infamous KOTRT:

Favourite Bands or Songs:

Appy - Super Furry Animals (any song)
Kenny - Mongo Jerry (any song)
Capt C - Cutting Crew - Song - I just (hair)Dyed in your arms
Jeffrey - The Sheridan Band - song - Cock of the north
Brookes - The Smiths - Song - Heaven knows I am miserable now

Other KOTRT affiliates:
Farmo - House of Pain - Jump(er) ound
Sparrow - Beautiful South - I'll sail this ship alone
Buzz - Theme from kids show (Huge) Noggin the Nog

Favourite TV & Film:

Appy - One man and his dog
Kenny - Blazing Saddles (Mongo's scenes)
Capy C - Dye Hard films especially Dye Harder
Jeff - Boogie Nights (Jeff used in last scene of movie)
Brookes - Misery

Farmo - That 70's show
Sparrow - Titanic
Buzz - Toy Story obviously and So I married an axe murderer (Big head scenes)

Its good to mow the grass or use King Arthur!!

Well done as always Mr Clark, what would a tour be without you - brilliant!
This could be Mr Know It All's top ten if he ever put his hand in his sown up pockets and bought an ipod!
1) Money, Money–Liza Minnelli, Cabaret
Money makes the world go around
…the world go around
…the world go around. Well he's never bought a round, does that count!

2) Money for Nothing–Dire Straits
If only the Talking Horse would be in heaven. ‘money for nothing and chicks for free’, I don't think sooooo.

3) Money—The Flying Lizards
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I want money
You love gives me such a thrill
But your love won’t pay my bills
I want money
Give me your money
Just give me money

4) Money, Money, Money—ABBA
I fancy the blonde one!

4) She Works Hard for the Money—Donna Summer
It’s a sacrifice working day to day
for little money just tips for pay
But it’s worth it all
just to hear them say that they care

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right. Nobody must work harder than there lass, how does she ever get any money. She must know where he hides it!

5)Take the Money and Run—The Steve Miller Band
Semi Skinned took the money and run
Go on take the money and run. He doesn't need telling twice!

6) Gold Digger—Kanye West
Give him half the chance!

7) Free Money—Patti Smith
‘He always dreamed about winning the lottery. But he never bought a lottery ticket! He would just imagine if he won, make lists of things he would do with the money - even buy a round.’

8) With Plenty of Money and You—Tony Bennett
Well, baby, what I couldn’t do
With plenty of money and you.
In spite of the worry that money brings.
Just a little filthy looker buys a lot of things.
And I could take you to places that you would like to go.
But outside of that, I’ve no use for dough.
It’s the root of all evil,
Of strife and upheaval.
But I’m certain, honey, that life would be sunny
With plenty of money and you. Well he managed to con one person anyway!

9)Money - Michael Jackson
Money.
Money…
Lie for it
Spy for it. Could this be a job in the offing for the tour professional.

10)Shania Twain - Ker-ching!
“We live a greedy little world…”

Remember Mr Clark, it is the route of all evil & the route to the bar. Why not break the mould & get that first round in on tour, I'm sure that it would make you feel better.

Cambridge your patter stinks. The only way to save the tour is to appoint Coach Clark as the Power of 1.

the time of the year closes in, awakening from my slumber i can smell the blood of the virgins already

I handed a deposit of £50 in over the bar at the weekend to this Young man with thick glasses, said I'd gave it to the right man.

Roll on Tour!

If you look closely at the Keeper of the Vaults message, providing you stayed awake through it, then you will notice my old tour name Semi Skimmed. Unfortunately, the writer of this submission 'Misery' himself made the same mistake on his Ode to a Banker message further up this message board and called me semi skinned. It will be noted that many of these bands are unknown to anyone under 60, therefore showing the true age of this Oil Rig living tourist.

Mr Brookes will claim that he cannot get multiple names to post malicious messages, this is quite clearly a lie and needs addressing on tour. He is jealous of my easy going and generous nature and is trying to suggest that I wont get my round in.

It is clear from other messages that he is well known for his reluctance to go to the bar.

Its good to hit the ball in the short grass on the golf course said Capt can u C me!!

Good to C i don't get blamed for everything on here.

Well spotted coach clark,can't believe some people.

Note to all tourists who still owe money for this years tour, you have untill the end of this month to pay the dosh up or run the risk of bye bye.

As of tomorrow all items will be on order.

40 people or so are now fully paid up so the rest of you who you know who you are please pay up as we don't want you to miss out !!!!

Long live the good knights.

YEAH COME ON LADS PAY YOUR FEES UP AND STOP WAITING FOR A CHEEP DEAL LIKE STUIE GRAZIER DID 2 YEARS AGO ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

IF YOU HAVNT PAID YOUR FULL £120 YOUR STAYING IN THE CLUB HOUSE WITH YOUR TOUR SHIRT AND SHORTS YOU CAN GO DOWN CHURCH STREET FOR YOUR TOUR.

GET THE CASH IN LADS

LONG LIVE THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL :_)

all payed i droped 80 in behind the bar yesterday bring it on :)

Spot on papey, no turning back now mate. Just a few more people who need to pay up. Dont risk missing out on a great tour!!

It appears its all go quite with 2 weeks to go, all those people who have been talking crap for the last couple of months have now gone into hiding.

Has the weeble coach clark finally fell over and can't get back up.

Has the big V now become a little v and lost all control over the virgins.

Has Harry Green gone back to london, since the tour committee found out his real identity.

Will the hole truth ever come out, is this as simple as black & white or is it just a shade of old ginger.

King Aurther and his merry knights shall speak the truth and nothing but tour truth this is the oath that they stand by and allways will.

Yours honestly
Harry Green.

A rumour leaked from the inner sanctum, I think that's the phone room, reveals that there is only one left to pay and I am sure that when he 'comes down' he will pay the final amount this weekend.
All guns blazing now or should it be swords & armour chinking. A tour is there for ALL to enjoy, just remember, only have done to others what you would have done to yourself!

I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHO GETS THE OULD BISH BASH BOSH 1ST ON FRIDAY 24TH APRIL 2009.

THE OLD DRAGON HEART IS ON FIRE AND NEEDS TO LET SOME STEAM OFF. TOUR IS NOT FAR AWAY I WILL BREW UP MY ANGER AND UNLEASH IT IN 15 DAYS TIME. NO SWORD CAN PROTECT YOU FROM THIS NATURAL INSTINCT OF FIRE

LITTLE COOPER & BROOKSEY BEAWARE HA HA HA :_)