Clay Cross CC

02/06/07 - 12:00pm

Dear diary:

Got up extra early this afternoon as today I am venturing south to experience the delightful sights of the ancient Spanish settlement of Alfreton.

Rumour has it big boy Bravo will be opening the batting today ha ha. Wont say too much though as i dont want to open.

2:20pm
Bravo out for 18 now for a proper batsman.

2:45pm
Oh c0ck. still theres tea to look forward to.

5pm
Long walk to the tea room from the pitch. Might have to stop for a rest. Phew made it and managed to get 2 fags in on the way. MMMMM beef sandwiches.

5:30pm
now where to hide in the field. bugg3r too many fat old blokes also trying to hide. Change of plan will get amongst them and try to blend into the crowd bit like a zebra at the watering hole hoping on of the weaker ones like elsey will get picked off. Strategically positioned between Andy the incredible unbending man and else the only man trying to outdo me as the clubs unfittest man.

6:30pm
Andy who? Not even i go for that many off 3 overs. But wait how did this happen I am at covers and feeling very exposed. Bravo runs in.....mmm them beef sandwiches were nice... oh sh1t wheres the ball. Sorry didnt pick it up, think they believed me.

7:00pm
hurry up only 9 hours drinking time left. Did we win????

Sat 9th June

1:15pm
Result, managed to get the car 18 inches from the dressing room door. Walking is for wimps. Think i'll have a wander down and see how the sight screens are put up. On my return it would appear the cricket fairies have arrived because everything is set up, result. Fantastic creatures these cricket fairies you never see them all day but after a fag and a sit down after the game they have already put everything away.

2pm
Batting first again and the precise big hitter is opening again so i had better pad up quickly.

2:30pm
git got 40 runs in no time. still cometh the hour cometh a Plant.

2:45pm
C0ck. still theres tea to look forward to.

5pm
MMMMMMMMM dripping sandwiches.

6pm
We'll p1ss this, 228 they'll get nowhere near that.

6:05pm
oh dear. but hasnt matt garner got nice br3asts?

6:10pm
oh dear, oh dear

6:15pm
were stuffed.

7:20pm
sulli summoned by the boss for a wedding reception, wimp! hold the phone! he's getting extra drinking time. quietly in awe of the intelligent sullivan. must remember this for home games later in the season.

7:30pm
else turns to me his trusted pie spinner to turn the game. just.....need.....to.... chuck .... a little...... higher. snap, thats me fetlock gone then. ooh ahh ooh ahh.

7:40pm
this is a first. plant in a 2 over spell. smack, 4, smack mmmmmmdripping sandwiches, 4 again, smack, snap...there goes my can't be arsed muscle as well.

8:30pm
all over, best do a warm down, now where are me fags?
put the clock away, that was really heavy best have a sit down and have a lucozade and a fag to help combat my hayfever.

8:35pm
them cricket fairies are back again and all the jobs are done result!

:oD:oD

Bravo must have been really bored this morning

funny as hell and would love to take the credit but unfortunately i can't.

No before you ask. I suspect Tom Holmes.

funny enough chief the word fetlock made me instantly think of you. youre right though that holmes boy is very quiet standing it there taking it all in.

No Bravo. If it had said "flintlock" then it would have been me cos I used one in my kings shilling days.

Bravo

you are a lying fekker

FACT

a funny fekker though

The clue is when you hover over the Username!!

Still proper funny though, I for one would watch the mini series!!

Hoover Dam

wondered how long it would be before someone ratted me out! just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

when i did it i noticed my email address but didnt think to take it off cos i didnt think you could see it.

just heading off to the wide open spaces of anatartica.


wonder what boyish adventures await young christopher this weekend? a 50 a 100? 5 wickets (sorry this aint a fairytale)?

tune in on monday to find out providing i find the ability to walk upright by then. anyone else still struggling? in the words of the Verve 'the drugs don't work' and im in agony.



Post Edited (13-06-07 08:18)

WIMP

its the extra burden of batting bowling and being else's minder on the field. still on the bright side you may get a game this weekend

Bright side for who?

johnnybravoVC wrote:

> its the extra burden of batting bowling and being else's minder
> on the field. still on the bright side you may get a game this
> weekend


As always Bravo, love the work!! Hope the Secret Diary of Planty becomes a regular feature!!

After my 3/4 of a game last week I'm fighting fit, shame I'm in godawful form really!!

thank you luvvie was thinking of taking it to the big screen also on the follow on. i'm sure planty would love that:oD

more importantly after being late for the reception did you manage to re balance the pints to boring guests ratio once you arrived.

I think it needs to go on the follow on so everyone can appreciate Bravo's immense wit

get it posted

johnnybravoVC wrote:

> thank you luvvie was thinking of taking it to the big screen
> also on the follow on. i'm sure planty would love that:oD
>
> more importantly after being late for the reception did you
> manage to re balance the pints to boring guests ratio once you
> arrived.


Oh yes!!

Planty's log (suppository sorry supplimentary)

called up to the first team this weekend, result. my class in the field has finally shone through. now to make the number 8 spot my own. gay boy greaves not best pleased as he has been bumped down to 9. screw him sentiment is for wimps i am the number 8 daddy now. sunil has this strange notion that i am an off spinner. when i protest that i am a slow pie thrower he just laughs and says 'planty you is a funny guy. laters'. not totally sure if he fully understands the implications of bowling me. still weirder things have happened and that lanky cockney could find himself in the stiffs upon his return from his romantic jaunt to the isle of dogs.quietly disappointed to be missing out on dripping sandwiches at the cross this weekend. still looking forward to the grooming tips from miller and geordie kid. note to self must pay attention to see how much gel is required to get the luscious sheen on the hair and the bronzed orange appearance to the skin.

hope bravo doesnt miss me too much.

Plantys log (complimentary sorry supplimentary)
that was the shortest time ever in the first 11. even quicker than the time at bolsover when i got timed out as i was still sat on the bog. damn and blast back down to the sodomites. at least there's matty's pert br3asts to look forward to and mmmmmmmmmmmmmbeef sandwiches. didnt want to play for the firsts anyway so screw em id have missed all me mates from the seconds. albert, arnold or arthur, whatever his name is is really nice and im sure talking to me is the hilight of his week. scooter my ars4

hopefully bravo, sulli and the other p1ss takers will be none the wiser. i only mentioned the first team once but think i got away with it ssssssssshhh.

Bravo

you are a funny guy

FACT