Clay Cross CC

Don't mention the fact that I got twice as many wickets as I got all last year and was at one point the leading wicket taker in the club will you?!!

Sorry sulli - I do apologise for forgetting your explosive bowling display and for spelling your name wrong!!!

Hatchy,

"hit on the scone" fantastic mate, make a northener out of ya yet!

You don't become Northern by
a)Living here less than 40 years
b) Making witty comments. Allthough it was a good effort because it involved pain & hardship which us lot up north have suffered from for so many years that we now find them funny. Suspect you will disappoint us though by the way you pronounce scone.
Keep trying Hatchy in about 10 years you may be considered as being north of the Thames but no higher.

PS a cafe in Brighton last week was advertising a scone cream jam & a pot of tea at a "special offer price of £7.50". Now thats being Southern

yes, but he's meant it to be pronounced 'sconn'

Well, everytime i come up here I nearly fall down watford gap!

Taken note of above Chief.

fookin hell the gap must be a gorge!!!!

As far as I was aware (being 75% southern) we have been through years of hardship too! And frankly I'm disappointed that northerners don't recognise the stress of having to manage your household staff on a daily basis. Its very demanding having to decide whether you need 2 gardeners or whether one driver will suffice. Not to mention which holdiay home to holiday in.

I'm personally shocked at the amount of southern discrimination that seems to be flying around!

Ben :-D

Ben
If it is aproblem I'm sure a session of tai chi followed by a massage from your personal Swedish masseuse will help.
6 Pints of draught shandy with no head on will no doubt refresh you along with some sort of leaf salad on some poncy bread. All served up on a silver tray by your Burberry clad Butler (this is where you are shown up as new money)
Get down to training tonight

will do. My personal physio is happy with my broken toe now, he's had me sleeping in an oxygen tent to help repair the bone. Rooney borrowed it on Monday morning siad something about a sore foot!

Drivers cleaning the car as week speak, would have come in in the family helicopter but its in for repairs you know how it is!

Pah! A real southerner would have got a courtesy helicopter from a decent helicopter repairer

there are no high class helicopter repairs this side of the watford gorge!

ben unfortunately you do not qualify as a southerner due to birth, formative years and now residing in the north. You also do not qualify as a northerner for trying hide your past and hi tailing 'down south'. You also missed out on your daily portion of coal in Primary School (replaced by milk in the south), making you somewhat a nancy. This is often easily identifiable in adult males as their hair does not devlop properly and results in girlie shades of red or in really bad cases p@ss yellow or blond. Unfortunately due to you being a white heterosexual male with a reasonable command of the english language you do not fall under the category of asylum seeker or economic migrant. We thererfore find that you have no right to be in this country and will be shortly deporting you to the isle of man with another group of misfits for a sociological experiment namely the english version of lost. Although this may sound harsh or unjust you do not have the right to appeal and any resistance will have severe penalties. The soft option of the isle of man will be replaced with the harshess enviroment known to anglophones...... France, be warned.

all southerner's are uphill gardenersB-]

Dear English Heritage,

Re: Post @ 15:05

Many thanks for your recent note, it is much appreciated to now that big brother is watching and is so deviod of obvious work that they should prowl around our website ensuring that those without any national right to be in the country hastingly deported to climates less appetising. It is refreshing to know that our hard worked for taxes are not going to waste.

Regrettable I hold some what of a trump card. If you re-examine your files you will see that I am 1/4 Welsh (Celtic) on my fathers side and therefore according to section 4 paragraphy 6a I am "entitled to remain in the country until necessary due to a superseeding antrascey that dates back to before French and Scandinavian invasions."

This means that it is actually my home land and that any true englishman (or woman) should be allowed first refusal of deportation ferriers due to the fact they have no english blood in them but french and swedish. (with the exception of David Beckham, who it would be grossly unfair to inflict on other nations)

I thank you again for taking the time to inform me of my pending removal to the Isle of Mann

They are only jealous ben of our previous exotic costa lifestyle!

Oh and thanks chopper - appreciate that comment!

Hatchy,

Will see you in Monti Carlo these summer then?

Unfortunately for you Mr Lumley it is well documented that the civil service is institutional racist and sexist. Due to Afro Caribeans and Asians 'doing their turn' (plus the fact that they kick up an almighty stink) there has been a new home office guidline put into use. Forthwith we are only allowed to discriminate against the following witout fear of reprimand:
- Caucasian
- Heterosexual
- Male

This somewhat narrows the scope of 'acceptable discrimination' within the civil service to the Taffs, Jocks and Paddys. Let it be known however that we are fair if not biased and each month one of said minorities takes their turn. Unfortunately this week being the first week of the month it is the Taffs turn, so unlucky the above post applies so pack your wellies, your blow up sheep, and male voice choir song sheet, we are coming to get you. Anyway the isle of man and whales is very similar with crap weather, inbreds, and beastiality so it will be home away from home. When you say 1/4 welsh on your dads side do you mean dad and uncle?

The more observant of you will notice that the 4 week cycle above has a spare week which is reserved for the french and germans. The germans incidentally can be deported at anytime because everyone hates them not to mention if they werent good enough to be here 60 years ago they aint good enough now.

Yours Sincerely
Abudullah Hussein III

Yes Ben - applying the amber solare as I write!!

Had an email from JB - over 220 people have read my report (perhaps only five have but muliple times!)

A budding Christoper Martin Jenkins!