Baston returned to league cricket this week with a home game against Billingborough 2nds knowing full well they would need a good win over their opponents who are near to the bottom of Div 1.
Inspection of the wicket revealed a dry and flat looking track and after much thoughtful chin rubbing home skipper Hilless made the sensible decision to bat. NO WAIT! BOWL..........BOWL??!!!!????!!!?? Apparently concerned by the somewhat thin Baston batting line up our illustrious slaphead/burk of a captain had stuck the opposition in.
Any concerns over his decision were quickly allayed by the arrival of the unlikely looking openers of Billingborough and Adam's face quickly gained a smug grin as the first five wickets fell with just 11 on the board thanks to some tidy bowling from Don and FGA allied to some sharp catches (most unusual) from SATURDAY Mark,Liam and grumpy Lamin. Billingborough's hopes of a decent total now relied on their best two batsmen, Wells and Rickett,and they carefully added almost 30 runs before Vicar Neil held onto a superb diving catch to remove Wells although he bumped his head on his halo as he hit the ground. Don Long swiftly completed a 5 fer before Adam abruptly removed him from the attack one over short of his full stint with the words 'NO ONE IS TAKING MORE WICKETS THAN ME ' ringing in Dons' ears.
Dave Conlon - 5/25 off 11 overs
By now Bastons' keeper, Ben,was starting to get a little excited at the thought of himself completing an innings without conceding a bye for the first time ever but looked slightly less confident as Ashwell and Hawk were brought on to bowl. Apparently, the mid on fielder heard Hawk mutter something about adding byes to the total as he began to bowl. Hawks' early season accuracy and form seemed to desert him as he sprayed the ball first down leg and then off until the valiant Hudson finally yielded a bye. Ben suggested that Hawk's avian nickname should be changed to a more suitable bird name..something like Great Tit. At last FGA allowed Dyer to bowl and the innings was rapidly wound up with a signature 'Yep' and we all trudged off for tea.
A typically impressive spread of sandwiches, scones and other tasty morsels were available plus the team favourite, a big bowl of fruit salad. This is a particular favourite of Tim Dyer as he tells me it helps his constipation and as everyone in Baston knows, Tim is always full of s..t. Anyway the Baston team were in great humour with the prospect of a quick victory and early finish leading to extra time in the White Horse with multiple jugs (mostly beer)
VSM and Liam were dispatched to the middle to knock of the runs and despite some early tidy overs it wasn't long before Liam was trying to smash every ball out the park. In fairness he also tried hard to get Boro into the game as he gave numerous chances but they were all dropped and the oppo skipper finally had to tell him to stop twatting about and get to the pub. It was left to VSM to nonchalantly flick a legside six to finish the job in 12 overs and claim the twenty points.
58% of the runs, 0% of the taxi fare
So all done and dusted and everyone happy, plenty of beer available, though some players allegedly had hangovers the next morning (I heard the skipper was talking to the toilet for most of the night)
Adam pictured with Billingborough skipper Murray Turner.
Possibly the worst captain in cricket; poor decision maker, bad fielder and widely unpopular, but Adam vows to carry on as Baston skipper.