Baston See Off Youthful Grantham

By The Hawk - September 11 2015
Baston See Off Youthful Grantham Baston faced Grantham 4th team. Read Hawk's report here>>

There were three changes to the side that beat Pinchbeck last week; Scott (TOUR), Liam (bored), and Fountain (dropped) making way for VSM, Ant and, making his first appearance in a Baston shirt this season, Ant Jr, who had decided to stop lifting weights for the weekend. With the absence of usual opening bowler Liam, auditions were held at nets for his spot. Despite having his lucky banana stomped on by Big Dave, Ant bowled well, and when Adam inevitably lost the toss he was tossed the new ball with his captain.

As Baston wandered out into the field and Tim finished his last fag, a wave of confusion swept the field, because it seemed that Mark had changed teams and was opening for Grantham! In actual fact, it was a 12 year old boy. For the first time in his career, Adam would be opening the bowling against openers with a combined age less than his, as J.Starbuck and J.Fell took to the crease. Also for the first time in his career, Lamin would be playing against a team with a combined age less than his.

The two opening bats started well, initially seeing off some good bowling from Adam and Ant. The latter was struggling at first to pitch it up, however he soon got it right and bowled G.Nut for 3. It wasn't long before the pressure of good bowling broke number 3 W.Abbott, who was bowled by Adam for 6 not long after, giving Bobby Charlton his first wicket in a fortnight #8oversnowickets. Abbott, angry at his failure to out-bat his 13 year old partner, did not take his dismissal well, deciding to first hit Lloyd’s wicket and then attempt to break Baston hero Mickey Troops’ bat toss record, but fell short (like his innings). Despite bowling well, neither Adam nor Ant could remove the young opener Starbuck, who was batting far beyond his years. After bowling good ball after good ball, Adam decided to turn back the year by chucking down a slow full toss. Starbuck(20), unaccustomed to such dross, could do little more than prod the ball down to gully, where Mark took a difficult catch just above the ground.

15 Grantham (2) Adams

Who is boring who?


Ant was replaced by Tim, as his steroids were wearing off, however this was not a totally bad thing for the hosts, as he fielded outstandingly at fine leg, with great pace and commitment and a bullet arm as well. His fielding highlight came after a 5th consecutive edge through the slips of Adam’s bowling caused him to chase hard to 3rd man, before diving headfirst at the ball in an effort to stop it, only to crash headfirst into a bush, missing the ball all together. He was scored a 9.5 for execution. Another fielding mention goes to Big Dave, who threw himself at a ball whilst in the slip cordon, grasping it inches off the floor at full stretch… only to realise that the batsman was no where near it and he had put all of that effort in for nothing.

With Tim and Lamin now in the attack, wickets fell far more often; the younger Kennedy-Short was given lbw for 4 despite the ball hitting him in the thigh pad (Tim reckons it was dipping), and Stevens(16) was also claimed by Dyer thanks to a good catch from Lamin. It wasn't long before the silver fox himself was in the wickets, taking a sharp caught&bowled to dismiss Robinson for 9 before trapping the elder Starbuck plumb lbw for 7. After H.Robinson was bowled by Daphne for a couple and the oddly named Fruin followed suit, top egg and all round talent Hawk was brought into the attack under strict instructions to “stop John getting a 5fer”. Despite bowling a few good balls amongst the usual guff, he was unable to take a wicket, and so the ball was tossed to his fellow Oik, Bashwell, who managed to get top scorer Phil Abbott(25) to snick off with the eighth ball of his over, stopping John’s first 5fer of the season. Grantham finished 109 all out.

After heading to the White Horse for tea (due to a minor cock up the village hall was booked), Mark and Ant Snr headed out to the crease. On a decent track against young bowlers this was a chance for the two openers to score 50s, and Mark certainly looked on track for this, leaving his first delivery with an air of confidence that smacked of a man who is in great form, before positively smashing his second ball to the boundary with a lofted drive. Unfortunately for him, there was a fielder in the way, and he was caught at mid-off, second ball, without scoring. Not the start he had hoped for.

Ant was joined at the crease by Lamin, who after starting the season well with the bat had failed to score for the last few weeks. However, Daphne was fresh off the back of a 4fer and began batting with assurance and confidence. Meanwhile, there was shock on the boundary as Ben announced that his helmet was too big; apparently he ordered XXXXXL instead of XXXXL.


The two batsmen batted sensibly and well, taking singles and biffing bad balls for four. It wasn't too long before they had put on a fifty run partnership, and not long after that that they had put on a ton together, despite the destruction that was Lloyd constantly setting off Ant’s car alarm. With 5 runs needed, John was on 47* and Ant on 46*. Both 50s were still possible, and John hit a four of young spinner J.Fell/G.Nut to bring up his first 50 of the season.

15 Grantham (2) Lamin1 15 Grantham (2) Lamin2

John Lamin 52*


With the scores level, Ant needed to hit a four in order to join Lamin, and after John blocked out the rest of the over Ant was on strike.Every Baston player signalled to Ant that he must score a boundary to get his much deserved half-ton, to which Ant is said to have replied “Oh ya, four ya, 50 ya, got it ya”. With the knowledge of what he must do fresh in his mind, and a loopy old spinner bowling, Ant decided not to go for glory and a four but instead block out the entire over for a maiden, gibbing his half century.

15 Grantham (2) Morris1 15 Grantham (2) Morris2

Ant Morris 46*


A now bored Lamin decided to take a single immediately after, depriving The Duke of Lincolnshire a well deserved, if slow 50, leaving the two bats on 52* and 46*, and bringing to a close a 110 run partnership and the game. After a 9 wicket win and 20 valuable points, the team headed to the White Horse for some grub and to celebrate the victory.


We are back at the top of the league for now, although Timberland can retain their top spot by 1 point if they get 20 in their game in hand

Thanks to our match sponsor Produce World.

Man of the match: Lamin, for his 4fer and 52*

Baston Bell-end: Smiler for his 2nd ball duck (although Ant did sort of gib a 50)