The pub team made up of Baston jokers travelled to Thomas Cook on Saturday looking to bounce straight back from their first defeat of the season last week at Stamford.
Lloyd “Did you know I scored a 100” Stewart – Contrasting reports coming from BCC on this name missing from the team sheet. Some saying it’s his usual mid-season break after 3 games, others point to skipper Dyer needing a break from the constant nagging, stating he gets enough of that at home. Liam “50/50 whether he was gonna deck him or not” Davies replacing a destructive Batsman, Ben “The Slug” Hudson replacing a short third man.
Lloyd came down to make sure no-one was enjoying themselves too much
Skipper Dyer won the toss, and fresh from his email roasting from an unnamed former BCC player, he had no hesitation in choosing to bowl first. Dyer receiving so much abuse these days has set up a new email account for this purpose, please forward all future such correspondence to firstname.lastname@example.org (Please exclude words such as fiefdom / hubris – we are unsure what they mean. Please include plenty of hashtags –Tim is now a big player on Twitter).
The game was delayed by some minutes, not for the much anticipated rain, but for the umpire, Russell raring to steam in was held back as the referee checked with batsman, bowler, fielders, umpire, scorers, passers-by and if I’m not mistaken himself if they were ready or not. He finally, and with great pride, announced the new nut was nearly ready to be released…before describing the action about to be bowled…number of balls left in the over…balls before drinks…type of drinks…etc.
When we did get underway Cooks came out all guns blazing and were soon in trouble as the ever dangerous Richardson and the returning Russell showed again what a dangerous opening attack they can be. With the ageing spin twins to follow, Dyer and Lamin, Baston were able to really squeeze the life out of TC and only resistance came from a gritty 54 from Javed Miandad. Thanks to his efforts Baston would have to chase a still fairly modest 134 to win.
Baston's glamorous scorers
Wickets were spread around the 4 pronged attack with Lamin benefiting from cleaning up the tail and finishing with 5-29. Including the prized wicket of prize prick Spears, who surprisingly given his chat in the field, only had the one shot himself, unfortunate really as this one shot was complete agricultural wank.
Even Mr Calm Doug was not impressed with Spears.
As usual the Baston fielding was liquorice all sorts the youth policy of Hudson, Hilless, Davies and M.Richardson (VSM) bearing fruit, elder statesman of the team Lamin, Dyer, Russell and Parker bearing arse most of the time.
Baston new opening partnership strode to the crease free from paranoia and determined to get Baston on their way. Davies played with great freedom and was a breath of fresh air at the top of the order making a quick-fire 31. Scoring did not come easy on this wicket for others and was made more difficult as most of the time it was hard to hear over the constant appealing and interrogation from the backward point after each appeal.
Liam in full flow
Howard and Lamin continued where Davies left off, ever so slightly more sedately, and coasted past the 100 mark with ease. Thomas Cook in the field attempted to appeal and talk their way back into the game, but it was not to be, shame.
Jon “One shot” Howard reached his third 50 of the season and John “No shots” Lamin played with great experience and deft-icity to bring baston home finishing on 34 not out. There was time for Parker to be quite hilariously run out attempting a quick single. One too many pies and several too many pints left Parker halfway down the pitch in agony. Umpire Davies wanted to go upstairs to the third umpire but Parker gave himself out and walked off.
Mr. Consistent Jono goes to another 50. #fiftyandout
Man of the Match – John Lamin, 5-29 & 34 not out – Continues to be one of Baston’s most valuable players and another match winning performance here, well on his way to the bowling trophy he just missed out on last term.
Lamin with a mis-timed Lean
Skipper Dyer “I really did have the most enjoyable day, even umpiring at square leg, the sun was out, we were coasting to victory and the umpire gave me a polo.”
He added “All in all, great team performance today, we have now won 7 from 8 this campaign in what has been one of our most successful starts since I can remember, not bad for a pub team!”
Talk in the pub soon turned to what can only be described as the most annoying prick we have ever played against and after a few beers trying to name the most annoying South Lincs XI of all time, this is what we came up with…
N.B Don’t take this personally, this probably means your half decent, with the absolute exception of Mr Tickle who belongs nowhere near a cricket field.
Please avoid this weirdo at all costs #fruitandnut
Joke of the day:
Felix’s attempt at a beard
Word of the day:
Flying Horse Update:
Opening date set – to be announced short-ly (no pun intended). Word on the street is they are still building the platform behind the bar for the little landlord to mount. Come on Smiler, hurry up mate, we only want some crisps!
League official Bryan Smith passed on his apologies for not being able to take our call the other week.