Good Win At Grantham

By Ben Hudson - June 16 2011
Good Win At Grantham
Biggest turd on show Baston took a strong line-up to face Grantham 2nds for their latest SLBL Div 3 encounter. Read the report here....

There were a few players missing for this weekend’s game at Grantham 2s. Fortunately Steve Bull took a break from his ambassador work at Wolves to appear for Baston who boasted a long batting line-up.


Grantham - Steve Bull

 Get in there!!!!


Tim tossed up with SB superstar Danny Ashley, with the young skipper fresh from his 142* last week. Tim won the toss and chose to bat, sending YaYa Touré operator Ant and Jon to open. Felix was seen smuggling some old fella into the scorebox.

A bright start from Jono took 9 runs off the 1st over. Unfortunately Ant nicked off for just 3. By this point the old fella had escaped Felix’s scorebox advances and outran him to the pavilion.

Grantham - Dan Snow


Jon slowed down in his batting before hooking to midwicket for 11. Grantham had a plan for former Ace Lamin, and he fell for the trap, slapping the ball straight down the throat of the one man slip cordon, leaving Baston in trouble at 24-3. Thankfully Bowser and Guy started to build a partnership in the middle, and Felix had delighted himself by finding the biggest turd he’d ever seen in one of the pavilion bogs.

Guy and Bows put on 65 before Guy was out for a good 30, including four boundaries, caught off the bowling of Alex Acne. Liam came in and picked up from last week, responsibly building the Baston innings alongside chief accumulator Bowser.

Boundaries were hard to come by with a long boundary, and a slow outfield, but the Baston running was good, with lots of 2s and 3s taken. Bowser has been limited by his doctor to one 3 per over.

Liam’s exit for 10 in the 35th over led to Steve Bull (GET IN THERE!!) coming to the crease. Bowser was out soon after, but had batted well for his 61, and had seen Baston from 19-2 to 142-6.

Grantham - Bowser

Top batting from Bows


Captain Dyer elevated himself to number 8 for some reason, and joined Bully. They did well, squirting 2s and 3s to keep the score ticking over, before a shower of rain scared the umpire and the covers came on. With the rain almost at a state of drizzle; tea was taken, with the Colonel leading the way.

Hot Dogs, Chicken Dippers and pizza were on the menu, with Grantham teas always impressing. Tim spent the whole of tea insisting that he was allowed to retire full, and send out the rest of his lower order in his place. Tim managed to stuff his fifth hot-dog down and get his pads on for the 5 over blast!

Jumpy Steve Bull was dismissed by John O’Shea look-a-like McCartan, for a solid 11 on debut. Tim (9) followed soon after, as he was too bloated to keep running. Fluff strolled to the crease with 2.1 overs left, and missed a ball from Uncle Fwed’s lad superstar Ashley, which split his middle stump. Naturally it wasn’t Felix’s fault, and Ben should have told him that he was bowling fairly quick. Felix returned be comforted by his new best friend Tommy the Turd.

Benny was eyeing a nice not out, and with Doug missing the last ball of McCartan’s over, Ben shook the hand of the bowler and walked off. Fortunately Doug was on hand to remind Ben that there was still another over; which subsequently got him first ball for 18, as Baston finished with 180.

Due to the early tea, Baston went out to field straight away (although Bowser was shocked that there wasn’t a normal tea as well) Tim chucked the new ball to Doug and watched him humiliate the openers with nearly every ball.

Liam opened up in the absence of Rico, which meant the sidescreen had to be moved for opener C. Chips. Mid-On Ant wasn’t interested in moving the screen, pointed to a couple of boys and shouted “oh ya, the scoreboard ya”

Grantham somehow got to 27 for no loss (with a tough chance put down by Tim, and several chances flying past the 4 slips) Liam made the breakthrough, uttering some tripe at the chunky opener as he cleaned him up.

Oh Ashley swaggered to the crease next, brimming with confidence, with Baston knowing he was the one to get out. Ashley was looking good, but then played a loose shot, popping one up for Ben to take at midwicket, departing for just 6. Only 2 away from getting 150 in 2 weeks!!


Grantham - Uncle Fred

 Uncle Fwed!


The floodgates were now open and it was only a matter of time before Baston skittled the young Grantham line-up. Grantham’s top scorer was ginger opener Ryder who somehow got to 33. Doug dismissed him and showed his dark side by pointing to the pavilion and bellowing “you can open your eyes now you prick!”

Doug Russell

Top bowling from "Goldy"


The biggest scorer in the lower order was cultured cack hander Parker, who looked very assured as he snedged and snicked his way to 8, although Liam was sure that if Tim had listened to his fielding instructions then he would have been out a long time before, as Liam asked for 3 third men, 6 fly slips, 4 gulleys and a keeper that’d stand back. Liam got to his five-fer in his 11th over, for 48. He left the last wicket for Doug to pick up for his five-fer, as he took 5-22 off 11.1.

The boys stayed for a disappointing stale flat pint in the clubhouse, before cruising back to Baston for Doug and Bowser to buy their jugs. Liam didn’t buy a jug but will be bringing plenty of lager on tour. Felix said he’d buy a jug for his golden duck, but only after he's next asked to collect the tea money.


Grantham - In Bourne

The night ended in the usual way. Bombs in Bourne!