Feeling The Pinch

By Scott Downie - June 9 2011
Feeling The Pinch
The Teapot Baston suffer yet another home defeat, this time to bottom of the league ‘title favourites’ (J Clarke, 2011) Pinchbeck. This week's report was written by dirty stop out Sporty Scotty....

Baston went into Saturday’s game full of confidence after getting their title ambitions back on the road after a decent away win at Burgh. After some prick tried to round up some players to nets and only succeeded in getting himself (for his weekly batting and bowling allocation) Felix and Ant Morris avec small boy, failing to tempt Big time Jono Howard and not so big time but will copy what Jono does Ben Hudson, it showed how Baston were feeling going into the game. 

Tim was even more smug when he could boast ‘Baston’s strongest batting line’ he had ever seen with Liam (Bored already), Lloyd and Chris Bow wow bowser coming in to replace the luckless Ant Morris Junior,  Adam and his ginger friend. Pinchbeck won the toss and decided to field, looking to take advantage of the wicket that had been disgraced by David Brew and the Stamford Mercury for which no one quite knows why it’s got such a bad report.


Jono and Ant went out to the middle and by the end of the second over had almost swapped their normal roles within the team. Jono couldn’t get anything away while Ant ‘the aggressor’ Morris hit two glorious cover drives. Jono was still struggling and eventually fell hitting a Lloydie lofted drive straight to mid off for his third duck in four games. Shame! Liam was bored

Pinchbeck - Jon Duck


This brought John Lamin to the crease who got off the mark in style with a four off the Joke run up Tott brother, whose running was linked to that of Phoebe Buffet (I only know this technique due to the amount she runs past my coffee shop.) But was soon bowled out trying to make the same bowler out the par. Bowser came and went within the same over when trying mistaking the ball for pie, he tried to grab it missed and ended up punching the ball to the keeper. In response, Felix called him an idiot – slightly ironic moment number 1!! Liam was still bored

This brought Lloydie to the crease and considering Pinchbeck were a new team to the league, they had already done their scout report and put two men straight back to long off and long on. Unsurprisingly got off the mark with a four but was soon out LEG BEFORE WICKET with the score on 45-4.

Pinchbeck - Sheikh Lloyd

Sheikh al Lloyd Stewart of Baston


 Liam got out of his bored state to join ant at the crease and this partnership needed to do something special to get Baston up to a decent total. Despite three easy dropped catches from pinchbeck, the pair soon got into their strides with Ant passing fifty and got the stage where he had a more defensive field than Liam!! Trés strange times!!

After many tea pot moments on the boundary from Captain Prick, Liam was eventually out for an important 34. However, Baston still needed to put on quick runs towards to the end of their innings and it didn’t help that Ant decided to take a single off the first ball to then leave no opportunity for runs in the over!! Nice one Ant!! Stevie G came and went for 3, Ben ‘Rack off, I don’t need nets’ Hudson got confused between his two sports when trying to head a wide ball away for four before then letting S.Tosh Tott bowl him!! Prick!! Liam was back in his state of boredom!

Pinchbeck - Anthony Morris

What a God!


Then Felix came to crease and for once actually scored runs with his infamous square cut shot of which he practices so much but rarely hits. But his innings was short lived when trying an ‘obvious’ single in his mind where every other person watching the game saw Ant hit the ball straight to square leg. After he got out, Bowser then gave some running coaching to Felix – Slightly ironic moment number 2!! Doug hit a quick fire 16 and ant ended the innings with a pull shot, YES ITS TRUE, a genuine pull shot for four to take his score to 74* and get Bastons total to 172-9. A pretty imposing target for most sides at The Shrine.

Once the small amount of teas provided by the spinner (But still wanting more money) had been eaten, Baston got an early breakthrough to the leave the visitors 2-1. Liam now in the field was bored and so was his missus.

Pinchbeck - Lamin Spinner

Not so "Ace" this week Indy!


However, with this brought Sam Smith to the crease and he and opener Riley (A spitting image of his sister Lisa) put on 56 for the second wicket until John Lamin made the important breakthrough with the wicket of Riley with a great caught and bowled dismissal. However, Baston couldn’t build on this with some poor bowling allowed Smith to go onto fifty and Pinchbeck onto 93-2. However three wickets for 4 runs put Baston back on track. And even when Sam Smith was dismissed for 90 (so unfortunate) Baston thought they had a decent chance of winning at 138-6. Liam and his missus were still bored.

Pinchbeck - Lisa Riley


However, Baston’s bowling and fielding did not live up to normal expectations with drops (Tim) and 18 seperate misfields from Felix, eventually led to pinchbeck needing 5 off the last over to win which they got with two balls to spare to give them their first win of the season and Baston’s second consecutive home defeat.

To try and get the team’s egos boosted again, five of the team went to Bourne to try and party into the night and forget about the day’s events, despite having to wait while Felix borrowed a top of his sister. Overall, a very disappointing result which Baston will want to bounce back quickly for next week’s trip to Grantham.

Pinchbeck - Smiths


Scorecard: http://baston.play-cricket.com/scoreboard/scorecard.asp?id=11135889