Townsin Diary - Stamford (Home) 03/07/10

By Andrew Townsin - July 7 2010
Townsin Diary - Stamford (Home) 03/07/10 This week saw the return of Towns to Baston cricket but, even worse, also the return of his diary. Read Mr. Townsin's account of events against Stamford here...

 

 

 

We lost, badly.

 

Tim is right, it is all Towns fault.

 

Desperate to make one of his, thankfully, rare appearances he spent all week sticking pins into a voodoo doll representation of quality opening batsman Ant.

 

Successful in this he was determined to prove what a superstar he is ignoring such minor inconveniences such as age, fitness, fading eyesight,  chronic shortage of practice, panel umpires who believe that just because the ball is going to hit middles stump the batsman is out, a level of “talent” only matched by Ben, etc.- He demanded to open.  During the short time he was in he succeeded merely to show the Stamford opening gimmer/bowler/friend of Lamin the perfect length to bowl, unsettling Class batsman Lloydie by attempting to run him out on three separate occasions, demonstrating to the rest of the team how a cross bat waft was the way forward (to finish in time for the German v Argies match) an example replicated by many including Lamin and Liam emulated  with panache.  The result of his actions was that we were all out for a lamentable 30. 

 

Tim is right, it is all Towns fault

 

Not satisfied with sabotaging Baston's batting he then insisted on wicket keeping, replacing the excellent Jono behind the stumps.  It was immediately evident we were in for one of his more extravagant performing walrus days when nearly executing a stumping of the first ball bowled by Liam.  Not (as you may imagine) a smart piece of work standing up to our left arm quick but, rather, failing to get his porcine hands to a ball that bounced three times before reaching him which he only succeeded in kneeing back 10 yards onto the stumps. 

Stamford easily knocked off the inadequate target with few alarms, other than one edge induced by the much improved Adam which mas missed by.......yes you've guessed it – Towns.

 

Tim is right, it is all Towns fault.

 

We could, perhaps, forgive him for all this, but rumour has it he was the one committed the most heinous of crimes and invited Billy Hall to the pub!

 

Tim is right, it is all Towns fault.