Baston get off to a flyer against Thomas Cook

By Adam Hilless - May 8 2010
Baston get off to a flyer against Thomas Cook Baston stormed to victory in their opening encounter of the Peterborough Midweek league. Woodlands was the venue, and Thomas Cook the opposition, read Adam's report here

Baston began their Twenty20 campaign with a trip to Castor to play Thomas Cook. After being bothered by sinks, toilets, and texts about the weather all day, grumpy captain Dyer lost the toss once again, and Baston were asked to field.

Fielding superstar and all round bore Ben Hudson replaced dinky-toy Jonny with the new ball, alongside resident sulk, Adam Hilless. Some iffy bowling prompted early bowling changes, carrot-cruncher Clarkey and debutant Mark Richardson replacing the ineffective openers. Clarkey and “Smiler” bowled some tidy overs, and Thomas Cook were indebted to the less-attractive Cunningham brother Guy, who missed about 7 stumpings and apparently forgot he was meant to stop the ball going past him. After 6 overs, Thomas Cook had reached 42-0.

Delightful bowling spell from "Nozza"

Monster munch Jim made the breakthrough, trapping the opener plumb in front. Richardson deservedly picked up 3 wickets for 28 off his 4 overs after a tidy spell. Having been pegged back with some useful bowling, Thomas Cook sent out biffer Lynes who started hitting some quick runs. The next bowling change accounted for him though, Anthony Norris Morris flattening his timbers. Ant bowled an excellent spell of swing bowling, and finished with the miserly figures of 2-8 off his 4. His 6 month holiday in Manila obviously did him the world of good. Captain Dyer bowled 4 economical overs, picking up a wicket in the process. The batsman did have to wait around for the bails to dislodge, but he was eventually on his way.

Baston could have nipped their opponents out for less than the final total of 105-7 had they been sharper in the field. Notable culprits included Paul Stewart who failed to pick the ball up until it was 2ft away from him, Steve Banks who appeared to slap the ball away rather than catch it, and Jon Howard, who couldn’t be bothered to field (lacklustre), and was seen sneaking off into the bushes.

Guy and Clarkey set Baston on their way, before Guy once again got bored and slapped the ball down a fielder’s throat. Walking-LBW Paul Stewart came in and flicked some trademark boundaries off his legs before pulling a long-hop to the fielder. Clarkey was outwitted by a “spinner” who fired in a Banks-esque double-bouncer and cleaned up the Baston opener for 19. Clarkey was later found sulking in a nearby field of carrots. Anthony and Mark put on a few runs before both fell, the former castled by the Thomas Cook express and the latter spooning a Rolf Harris delivery to the keeper.

After finally returning from the bushes, Jono came to the crease and punished some terrible bowling, including a half-tracker dispatched for a monster maximum. Paul Cunningham marched to the wicket with the instruction of getting forward to the quick bowler, and marched back again next ball, having been bowled jumping backwards. Needing just 9 to get over the line, the sight of walking-wicket Ben padding up spurred Jono to spank Rolf Harris for a couple of boundaries, and Baston were home with 7 balls to spare. Jon finished on 31 not out, an excellent knock. You’ve done very well Jon.

Jon can't keep away from the Spinner(s)


Clarkey congratulated the team and began giving a team meeting before being reminded that he was actually NOT the captain. After Paul C had guided half the team into a nearby field of cows, the boys headed back to the spinner to celebrate by eating pizza and throwing stuff at Guy. Adam was cheered up with several dozen choruses of “cry me a river” and “dry your eyes mate” after bowling just the one over. The night was over when Ben ruined it for everyone by declaring he couldn’t be bothered to vote, prompting Tory-boy Dyer to abandon his AAAAAAAAAADRIAAAAAAAAAAAN calls to launch a furious attack on lay-about youth Hudson. His Nan’s chip-shop got bombed you know!!

Tim's Nan's chipshop. "Cod and chips" floating down the river