Heaven's open, Guy finds new tipple.

By Jon Howard - May 31 2007
Heaven's open, Guy finds new tipple.
Guy just loves Nob Baston’s four game losing streak came to an end on Saturday when the heavens opened and their match away at relegated Ropsley was washed out. Click here for further details or on the menu bar to the left for the latest instalment of TOWNSIN DIARIES!
Ropsley won the toss and with plenty of cloud cover overhead and knowing the Baston top-order was fragile and in drastic need of runs (come to think of it so was the middle and lower-order) the home side had no hesitation in putting the visitors into bat.

The pitch offered varying bounce and some sideways movement, put this alongside movement through the air due to overhead conditions and scoring runs was no simple task. The out-of-form Baston line up not only had to battle the conditions but their own technical flaws and concentration issues too. They did so valiantly if not overly effectively with Townsin, Cunningham, Howard and Richardson all digging in for a number of overs, Baston needed one of these men to go on and make a half-century to post a decent total or if nothing else rekindle some confidence of making a match winning total at some point this season.

However it was not to be as they all came and went as partnerships were just beginning to form. Howard and Cunningham added the most promising partnership progressing Baston to 60 for 3 before Howard was inexplicably adjudged LBW for the 3rd time in 5 matches, something perhaps the Federal Investigation Umpiring Association Bureau may want to look into.

Its not coincidence, its certainly not lack of technique…no, its obvious to me, Howard is being victimized because of his sparkling good-looks and natural cricketing talent, the only other alternative is some form of betting syndicate. I don’t want to start throwing these accusations of corruption within the South Lincs League about, but come on…3 in 5 weeks…have a word someone.

Cunningham soon followed in dreadfully embarrassing fashion, running straight passed a straight one from a bowler that was about as part-time as skipper Dyer’s working career and then stumped by a keeper about as composed as Beeby when told ‘ your round next ‘.

I would love to describe to you the heroic innings skipper Dyer played coming to Baston’s rescue yet again…but…I cant. Firstly because the rest of the team were by then fully engrossed in a game of keepy-ups with a rugby ball so no one saw his innings and B because he came back chuntering only a few minutes later. Something about ‘ I sit and watch every single ball of your innings…what do you do…oh no…you just piss about…ill remember…bloody kids...you wanna watch…you might learn a thing a two’.

Mr Barnes keeps threatening to score a run or two but it just hasn’t quite materialised yet, this week he threatened more than most seeing out a good six balls before hearing the death rattle. Tight fisted village stud Beeby brought new hope and ‘ new skills ‘ to the team this week…however the hope didn’t last long and the skills were found wanting, perhaps these skills he spoke of will be better shared with the new love in his life.

Baston were eventually bowled out for 81 and began their rain dance, the skies obliged and the game was soon called off with no chance of a conclusion, Baston travelled home much the happier side.

On the way home the team stumbled across a new beer in the Ropsley local that the team would sample, some liked said beer more than others…Guy could not get enough of it, he wanted more and more and would eventually take some home with him, he couldn’t get enough, he just simple loves nob.