Sometime in June……
Away v's Cavaliers
3rd game of the season for me on Saturday.
I am too old and fat to keep wicket on a hot humid June afternoon.
However, our captain (Uncle Tim) didn't agree or I had done something to
upset him...............45 overs, one bye (standing up to a medium pacer
who put his quick one a yard down leg - thanks Grumpster - well that is my
story and I am sticking to it.) A stumping, another that wasn't given (I am
convinced the umpire was texting on his mobile) and a catch standing up
that the umpire didn't give - you know it's out when the batsman is "not
sure" if he hit it. I hate cheats, at village level you should only be out
LBW if you are on the back foot and it would miss both leg and off stump
because it's hitting middle BUT you always walk when you hit it.
They got 157, a large proportion of them in wides courtesy of Ned Flanders
and Micky (now he's lived with a woman - you tart) Pearce - thanks mainly
to some tight bowling from Grumpster and a good effort (no honestly, I
find it hard to believe as well but it is true) from Darren.
We knocked them off for 2 wickets - I opened and stood at the other end
and watched as our best player Digby played an innings that took it away
from them. It took us 40 overs to get them, added to 45 overs of keeping I
was totally shattered and every part of my body hurt (and still does!) It
was 8.20pm when the game finished - that is one long but good day.
A few weeks later? ………
Played my 4th game of the Season on Saturday and it was a really strange
one. Baston are 2nd bottom of the league and play on the worst pitch in
Lincolnshire, our opposition are top of the league and home ground is a
chocolate box setting and a real belter. Unfortunately we played at home!
Their openers made light of a genuinely unsafe pitch making 94-0 from 21
overs. They were greatly aided by our rather wayward bowling - (typical
Baston we had our strongest attack for a couple of seasons yet managed to
bowl a record 28 wides in the game, I kid you not!) - Also their captain &
top batsman edged (well closer to middled) the ball to the keeper
(unfortunately me - I am too old & fat to do it anymore!) and didn't walk
and their umpire was obviously blind, deaf and had recently had his index
finger amputated - I HATE CHEATS.
It then stormed, we sat about for half-an-hour, we went to the pub for an
early tea, we sat about for another half-an-hour, I got showered and
changed only to be informed that Moulton Harrox wanted to give it another
half-an-hour before deciding to call it off. They were basically desperate
for easy points against us.
It stopped raining, they insisted on playing on - the league results state
that once a game has started you cannot reduce the overs (a total of 90
with first innings a max of 45), so they proposed to declare on 200 or
after 35 overs which ever came first.
They then went on a whack-a-day fest which resulted in our canny spinner
Tim Dyer (canny is a word used in village cricket to describe an old slow
bowler who never turns it off the straight) picking up 7 wkts for very few
- 2 nice stumping to O&F, thank you very much - they declared on 169 - 9
after 30 overs - figuring that they had more than enough runs to beat us
bunch of clowns on a dodgy pitch livened up by a storm.
I opened, in the third over I responded to my partners call for a
(relatively) quick single only to get two thirds of the way down and see
him turn round and retreat into his own crease - oh joy we are now both
standing at the same end - exit O&F stage left. Moulton, however, remember
my partner scoring a few against them on their home pitch last year and
think it would be beneficial for him to go and keep the old & fat bloke in
- so they claim as he left the crease it should be him who is out and call
me back, we are not really a 100% sure about the rules but my partner does
the honorable thing and walks off (it was all his fault anyway) - Moulton
are counting the points.
At 9.15 pm 38 overs later it's 170-5 with me 69* their mood has altered a
bit.
The jugs flowed!
Cheers