The Hartlepool Monkey Song

By Zin Zan - November 9 2007

Well, it happened up in Hartlepool, about the time of France,

The Emperor Napoleon was leading us a dance,

When up along the coast came a British man of war,

And the captain's old pet monkey got washed up on the shore.


Chorus Old folks, young folks, everyone and each,

Come and see the Frenchie who's landed on the beach,

He's got long arms, a great long tail, he's covered all in hair,

We think that he's a spy so we'll hang him in the square.


The Lord Mayor of Hartlepool was walking down the shore,

When he saw a funny sight, he'd never seen before,

Sitting in the sand was a little hairy man,

Clutching a banana in his little hairy hand.


The Lord Mayor fetched the Town Clerk and they both went to the shore,

And there they found this little man, where he had been before.

A crowd had gathered round him, 'cos he was the strangest sight,

Since the sporting club caught fire on the previous Friday night.


Constable Parsons, he hurried to the scene,

He viewed the situation and he licked his pencil clean.

He said 'Causing a disturbance is a serious offence,

And everything you say it will go down in evidence'.


When this little man spoke, a funny thing was heard,

And Constable Parsons couldn't understand a word.

The reason for his puzzlement the crowd could plainly see,

This little man's a Frenchie from far across the sea.


The little man's a French spy, the angry crowd did roar,

Sent over by Napoleon to invade our native shore.

They grabbed the little fellow by his long and hairy tail,

And handed him to Parsons,

who hoyed him into jail.


So they hung this little Frenchie from the gallows in the town,

With a rope around his little neck, and his tail all hanging down,

As a warning to Napoleon to make himself the rule,

Not to send his little hairy spies to dear old Hartlepool.