Chemical Analysis of a Woman

By - January 5 2007

Control of Substances Hazardous to Health (COSHH)


Data sheet for "Woman"

 

INFORMATION
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discovered by: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53.6kg but may very from 40kg to 200kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

 

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6.Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

 

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

 

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in a sports car.
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

 

TESTS
1. Pure specimen is rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

 

POTENTIAL HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.