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Great Eccleston 91 all out
D.Smith 6 for 26
T.Duerden 3 for 28
Fylde 68 all out
M.Watkinson 30
P.Whittle 4 for 28
J.Proctor 3 for 32
W.Proctor 3 for 2
Good morning ladies, gentlemen and the chuckle brothers! I begin my report on this delectable Monday in a slight daze from a wonderful evening of golf, the worst thing I could of done was watch Tiger slap it into the lateral water hazard down 13 going for the green in two having watched Westwood do the same! Mediate then made birdie to take the lead, it made it all very interesting and I could not turn it off, somehow you just knew the likable Englishman would miss his 20 foot putt to force a playoff and the machine Tiger would make it, still wonderful sport.
Anyway, back to the cricket, Saturday began in jovial mood in the knowledge that Great Eccleston would be without a couple of their so called “superstars” through a suspension. I spent roughly 9 hours trying to put on a new batting grip on my bat on Saturday morning only for Haguey to turn up, remove the grip that was half on the bat and proceed to complete the procedure in roughly 57 seconds! I think he may have done that before, anyway, Haguey had arrived late introducing himself to one and all as “the price winner” and he certainly was!
This friendly banter had Thomas Duerden in stitches, so much so that he continued well into the Churchillian team talk I was delivering; a stern dressing down was required. It was at this point I realised that Bomber would be an exceptional SAS operative who would never crack under torture. As I was halfway through requesting he be quiet he was already trying to sell his mate down the creak, passing the buck, and the blame, I guess we should expect this from our lovable rogue who in his spare time enjoys playing with his pet donkey!
Having won the toss I was undecided what to do, normal logic would be to bat, if your not sure, think about it for second before batting, as you may be aware, I decided to bowl, much against my better judgement. The main factor being the weather, as we were warming up there was a minor hurricane passing through the FCG and the covers were on, I did not want us to get stuck in the rain coming on and off and losing overs. The decision worked well in the first half with us rolling over the Eccy Thump for 91.
There was particularly good spells from heir Duerden and the Danny “the machine” Smith. Danny bowled unchanged for 10.1 overs picking up 6 for 26, a fantastic effort removing some important players for them. As we so often say cricket is all about partnerships, with the ball as well as the bat and Danny’s excellent spell was superbly assisted by a recalled Tom Duerden who also bowled unchanged picked up 3 for 28 off his 12 overs! At half time we were very confident of knocking these runs off and making full use of the platform these boys provided us, how wrong we were!
On a slightly different note may I discuss the ridiculously high fuel prices at the moment? I was on the dog and bone the other evening to a close personal friend of mine with whom I went to university, now my friend, actually, you may of heard of him, the names Dave? Anyway, Dave went camping in Devon, in a tent Stuart, no caravans to be seen but that’s a different story, he was camping and on his homeward trip he ran out of petrol. No big deal you may say but Dave’s fiancé has one in the oven, I think he said it was the milkman’s, anyway, they ended up running out of petrol and due to the extreme cost of petrol they could not afford more so they ended up completing the rest of the trip on a unicycle stolen from the school of hard knocks. This madness must end Gordon, resign!!!!!!
Back to the cricket, we made a solid enough start with Barry “good afternoon” Willis become the first of six players to be dismissed with castles in the sky! Oh tell me why, there can’t be castles in the sky!!!! That is very much too many being bowled! We were 1 for 3. The revolving door continued with only really Mr Wordsworth offering much resistance with a well made 30! An extremely disappointing day at the office and we shall be having bad boy nets this Tuesday, this does render our game next week with the BAC boys a very big game indeed!
Onto the evening festivities, with payday the previous Friday da FCG boys went massif, I’m told Juan Denning was on the sabooooooooookakakakakakaka! Of the actual evening, I’m going to have to be honest, I don’t remember a great deal, I did wake up a 6am on my sofa with Sky Sports One on, must have been watching the golf although I have no recollection. The boy Barry Willis was extremely hilarious; as we were treated to some shapes from Barry and his lady wife that would not have been out of place on celebratory go dancing in the jungle ballroom brother or whatever the smeg it’s called! Where did the afro wig come from? I did not notice Keedo join us in the Reso?
WOW, there were a few contenders, the 3 contenders were, Stuart Hague, I think it was decided for a general mare in the field, mainly because the ball was hit a few times towards him and he dived over the top of it, very stylish though! Then there was Whatkey, for running over to point to hit a dead ball, and for walking over to the pavilion while batting for a drink when there was no drink ready and drinks were scheduled for an over later. On to the eventual winner by a unanimous decision, Barry Willis, he slapped a throw down over the pavilion!
Onto other news, there was a lovely documentary on the discovery channel the other evening, Big Cake diary’s or something of that ilk, Sir David Attenborough was doing the commentary on it. Any way it all centred on this pride of Lions on the Serengeti, who were hunting this particular herd of wildebeest, as always a well made documentary from the BBC, as ever showing that our license fees are not wasted. I digress, about 23 minutes into this show I had to do a double take, who should be lying down next to Simba, the dominant male Lion after their kill, but Barry Willis eating a pie! Unbelievable Jeff!
Right I shall leave you on my way to Russia in a trailer stolen from a Polish cherry picker that spent most of this weekend complaining about the price of Grimsby haddock which has apparently risen at an indeterminable rate due to the emergence of a Republic derived from an innate love for green Fruit Pastilles and a curious fear of Fruit Gums, must be the false teeth!
Moscow
Dave
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NEXT FIXTURE
Whittingham (1), Withnell Fold(2), Penwortham (3)
VENUE
FCG, Withnell Fold, Penwortham
DATE
Saturday 23rd August
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